Losing Friends

by Frances
(Smithtown, NY)

I'm worried about losing friends. If a person decides to homeschool their children, does that mean that the friends that child has now will "go by the wayside?" I get the feeling that the homeschooled children have to be friends or socialize with only other homeschooled children. I know that's probably not the case, but from the reading I do of various homeschooling websites, that's just the way it seems. My boys are only 6 and 3, (2 1/2 years apart), so they don't have any "best friends" yet, but I know quite a few families with children that I would like to continue seeing every now and again. Also, I'm a shy person myself, so the thought of making new friends all over again is a little daunting.

Yes, it would be great (if we decided to homeschool - I haven't even brought the idea up yet to my husband) to be with other homeschooling families and people with similar situations, but the whole idea just seems exhausting and exhilarating at the same time! And, I live in Long Island NY, and from the little research I have done so far (only a few minutes) there doesn't seem to be too many homeschoolers in my area - which scares me a little.

Sorry so long - Thanks for any help!

Reply to Losing Friends:

Your children's current friends don't necessarily have to go by the wayside! There is no reason why their friends have to be homeschoolers. If you truly want a relationship to continue, it will. If you want to be with a special friend, you will make time to be with that friend from time to time which will foster the relationship.

I will admit that the majority of my children's friends were homeschooled. But they still had (and continue to have) friends out of the homeschooling community. One of my daughters met her "bestie" while attending a foreign language class. My son met two friends through another friend of mine. They are both in public school but are two of his best friends. I could go on, but know that you make friends with those you want to be friends with, those who "click" with you.

One way to maintain a healthy relationship without losing friends is to join the same sports team (baseball, hockey, or karate) or club (4-H or Boy Scouts). That sort of "forces" you into seeing them on occasion. Life can get busy at times otherwise!

Try visiting your local library. Homeschoolers tend to hang out there. If you don't happen to time it right, the librarian would be able to get you in contact with other homeschoolers or at the very least provide you with contact information for a homeschool organization in your area. Keep in mind that sometimes friendships grow all by themselves without us actively "trying" to grow them. Don't "try" too hard, things will work out just fine.

Another great question, thanks for asking Frances! All the Best.